The ubiquitous pleas for social justice often hinge on the assumption of universal altruism, the idea that we should care deeply about every instance of suffering worldwide. This essay argues that such an expectation is not only unrealistic but also manipulative. “I don’t care” is a powerful statement that can liberate us from this burden and allow for a more focused, meaningful approach to caring.
This essay revisits themes explored in the book Becoming a Barbarian, challenging the notion that we are obligated to care about every stranger’s suffering. While empathy is a natural human trait, genuine care requires discernment.
The Manipulation of Universal Altruism
Social justice appeals often exploit our empathy, presenting carefully selected instances of suffering to elicit an emotional response. Once engaged in the debate about the validity or extent of the suffering, you’ve already fallen into the trap. The argument itself implies an obligation to care, regardless of the specifics. But what if we simply refused to engage? What if we said, “I don’t care?”
This isn’t about lacking empathy; it’s about recognizing the limitations of human capacity. We cannot genuinely care about every single person on the planet. To pretend otherwise is to indulge in emotional pornography, a performative display of virtue signaling. The constant barrage of online outrage designed to dictate our feelings about strangers and their problems is manipulative. It aims to burden us with responsibility for alleviating suffering we have no control over.
The Arbitrary Nature of Choosing Who to Care For
We are constantly bombarded with stories of suffering. A child soldier in a war-torn country. A homeless person struggling to survive. A victim of a hate crime. The sheer volume forces us to choose who and what to care about. This selection process, whether conscious or not, is inherently arbitrary. It’s often influenced by proximity, media coverage, or personal biases.
Saying “I don’t care” about strangers isn’t cruel; it’s an honest acknowledgment of our limitations. It allows us to focus our energy and resources on those closest to us – our family, friends, and community. This isn’t about indifference to suffering; it’s about prioritizing our care.
The Power of Discriminatory Caring
Genuine care requires choice. It means drawing a line between those we invest in and those we don’t. This “discriminatory caring” isn’t about prejudice; it’s about focusing our limited resources where they can have the most impact. It’s about building meaningful relationships based on shared values and mutual respect.
Blindly accepting the responsibility for everyone’s happiness is paralyzing. It leaves us vulnerable to manipulation and prevents us from forming genuine connections. Instead of striving for the impossible ideal of universal love, we should focus on building strong, meaningful relationships within our chosen tribes.
Embracing the “I Don’t Care” Manifesto
“I don’t care” is a declaration of freedom from the manipulative demands of universal altruism. It allows us to prioritize our care, build stronger relationships, and live more authentically. It’s a radical statement that challenges the status quo and invites us to redefine what it means to care. While seemingly harsh, it paves the way for genuine connection and meaningful action within our chosen communities. It’s a call to care passionately, but discriminately. It’s a call to choose our tribe.
